Hobbits, dwarves and elves, oh my! –Here in Hogwarts?
by TheOutcast4
Summary: The Hobbit characters and the Lord of the Ring characters in Hogwarts! Please read and review! The Hobbit and LOTR things have nothing to do with the storyline of LOTR and the Hobbit! CRACK FIC
1. The Sorting

Hobbits, dwarves and elves, oh my! –Here in Hogwarts?

The Sorting

A/N- I hope you enjoy this! This chapter is to show what houses they get into. I'll hopefully be updating at least once a week. Review and say what you think and what lesson you would like in the next chapter please! Disclaimer- I obviously don't own anything! So sad…..

The large group all files into The Great Hall after Professor Longbottem, looking around the room in awe. The hat sang a rather happy song on which some of the dwarves tried to sing along with (Thorin was not pleased).

Professor Longbottem smiled at them and said, "When I call your name, come and sit on this stool to be sorted. Aragorn!" he called.

Aragorn walked slowly up to the stool and sat down calmly as the hat was placed on his head.

"Griffindor!" It cried, without a moment's hesitation.

The table on the far left cheered loudly as Aragorn grinned and walked over there.

After they stopped cheering, Professor Longbottem called out, "Arwen!"

Arwen walked gracefully up the stairs and sat down. It took a minute to decide that she would be placed in, "Hufflepuff!"

She smiled gratefully as she went to the table on the far right.

"Balin!" was next and was sorted into "Ravenclaw!" This time the table second to the far left cheered for him.

Then it was Bard who took a while to be sorted but then the hat eventually decided on "Griffindor!" Bard walked solemnly over to the cheering table.

Bifur was sorted into Hufflepuff. Bilbo was eventually sorted into Hufflepuff as long with Bofur, Bombur and then Dori.

Boromir and Dwalin became the first Slytherins. Elrond was sorted into Ravenclaw straight away. Eomer and Eowyn were sorted straight into Griffindor. Faramir need a lot of time to decide but the Sorting Hat eventually called out "Griff- Hufflepuff!"

"Fili!"

Fili braced himself, clapped Kili on his back and went to be sorted.

"Griffindor!" the hat cried. Fili sighed a breath of relief and looked at Kili who managed a smile. (Ahh! Sorry, time to fangirl!)

"Frodo!"

Sam looked worried as Frodo made his way up to the Hat, scared for his little friend.

The Hat was silent for some time but then, "Griffindor!"

Next was Galadriel. The Hall went deadly silent as she walked gracefully to the stool and the Hat had barely touched her head went it shouted, "Ravenclaw!"

"Gandalf!" Professor Longbottem called out over the last few claps.

Gandalf walked to the stool, clutching his 'walking stick'.

"Griffindor!" the hat finally shouted.

Gimli and Gloin were sorted into Griffindor and Haldir was sorted into Ravenclaw and then, it was Kili's turn.

Kili walked up to the stool bravely and then waited to be sorted, closing his eyes tightly.

"Griffindor!""

Kili opened his eyes and grinned before walking over to his brother.

Legolas and Merry were sorted into Griffindor, Merry taking a bit longer than Legolas.

Nori was sorted into Hufflepuff then Oin was sorted into Slytherin then Ori joined Nori in Hufflepuff.

Pippin was soon sorted into Griffindor.

Radagast was then sorted into Ravenclaw (I'm sure he and Luna would've been best friends! ^.^)

Sam was then sorted into Hufflepuff (Awhh he won't be able to stay with Frodo!)

Then Saruman was sorted into Slytherin. (It took a long time to be decided)

Thori and Thranduil were the last to be sorted.

And guess where they both ended up?

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SLYTHERIN!

They should have some fun!


	2. DADA

_Defence Against the Dark Arts_

A/N= Hiya! I really hope you enjoy this and please review! Okay- On with the disclaimer! Pippin, please, would you?

Pippin= thoutcast4 doesn't own Harry Potter or LOTR or the Hobbit.

A/N= Thank you Pippin! Now, Fanfiction time!

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"Okay, class! Welcome to Defence Against the Dark Arts! Has everyone found a seat?" The DADA teacher said. His appearance caused a few mouths to drop open.

"Uncle Théoden! When did you start to work here?" Eowyn cried, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"When I was offered the job." He answered starting to write on the board.

"Why did you accept it? You knew we were coming here!" Eomer said, irritated.

"That's exactly why!" Théoden smiled. Eomer and Eowyn banged their heads against their books.

Théoden drew up the class plan on the board.

… desk …

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Aragorn … Fili… … … Eomer … Gloin

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Balin … Frodo … … … Eowyn … Haldir

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Bard … Gandalf … … … Kili … Legolas

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Elrond … Galadriel … … … Merry … Pippin

"That's how you should be sitting! Now, move!" Théoden ordered.

"Why do I have to sit next to _him_?" Legolas asked, glaring at Kili. He had an unknown hatred for Kili ever since he first looked at him.

"Because I say so! Now sit!"

Everyone sat in their delegated spots.

"Do you even wear cologne or deodorant?" Legolas sneered.

"I wear cologne! What do you wear? Justin Bieber perfume?" Kili retorted.

"No! Do you even comb your hair?"

"I don't need to!" Kili glared at him. And so, they went on with their petty little argument.

Eomer turned around to glare at Haldir who was speaking to Eowyn. Haldir noticed his glare and faltered in his speech.

"What's wro-?" Eowyn started to ask but then noticed Eomer and sighed. "Eomer, talk to Gloin!" She said, before starting to talk to Haldir again.

Eomer spoke to Gloin but kept turning back to glare at Haldir.

"Eomer, stop glaring at Haldir! I can glare at him better then you can and I can keep an eye on him so focus on your work!" Théoden said loudly. Eomer, Eowyn and Haldir blushed with embarrassment as most of the class laughed.

"Okay, class! I will be teaching about curses now and the next lesson we will try some of them." Théoden spoke over the class but most of them ignored him (Awhhhh poor Théoden)

"Class! First, I will talk about 'expelliarmus"!

"BANG!"

"Woahhh!" A firework exploded at the back of the classroom.

"Merry! Pippin! Don't take my fireworks!" Gandalf yelled, standing up.

"We didn't!" Merry said, standing up to face Gandalf.

"Yeah!" Pippin stood up too. "We bought them from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes!"

"Pippin! Don't tell him!"

"Too late, Master Meriadoc! You two! I forbid you to go there again!"

"You can't make us! The tricksters yelled back.

The three kept yelling back at each other.

Behind Gandalf were two elves working calmly through the noise. Elrond and Galadriel, the two Ravenclaws, were working.

By now, it was 20 minutes into the lesson and when Gandalf noticed the time, he made the room go dark and did his thing. "Silent! Let the teacher teach!"

Everyone (obviously) fell silent and Théoden began to teach again.

But of course, it only lasted a while.

Bard was sitting quietly doing something on a piece of paper and Gandalf, being curious, looked at the piece of paper.

"WHAT ARE YOU DONG?" Bard yelled.

"Nothing!" Gandalf acted innocent.

"You were looking! I saw you!" Bard yelled.

While Bard was being moody, over in the front, Aragorn and Fili were becoming besties (Nahh, not really, Legolas and Aragorn, Fili and Kili forever, hehe :P)

"Aragorn! Stop talking to that dwarf!" Legolas yelled.

"No! I love him!" He yelled back.

"I love you too, brother!" Fili yelled.

"We're drunk!"

"I know!"

"Urgh! I hate this! I'm going to my room!" Bard yelled as he got up and walked huffily out of the room.

There was a stunned silence before everyone started yelling again.

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Thanks for reading! Please review! Tell me what you think and what lesson you would like in the next chapter!

Thank you! ILYSM!


	3. Divination

Divination

A/N- Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews; I was so happy when I saw them! ^. ^ Oh, and I don't think I said which houses they were yesterday- they were Griffindor and Ravenclaw. And today's is Slytherin and Griffindor! :) Enjoy! But first, if Thranduil would do the disclaimer...?

Thranduil-...

Le Moi- Please?

Thranduil- Better. theoutcast4 doesn't own Harry Potter or LOTR or the Hobbit

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"Welcome! Welcome to Divination! This is where you will look into the future!" Professor Trelawney welcomed them in her usual spooky voice.

Her class looked at her blankly, wondering how she became a teacher.

"Now, today we will foresee the future with crystal balls. I shall get them out now. Sit and talk for a while." She said, before sliding to the side cupboard and each table began to talk.

"So… you don't talk much, do you?" Gimli asked his new partner.

"…Hm." Bard sat grumpily.

"Okay…" and then they both sat in an awkward silence.

…

Let's move on! Next on the front row are Gloin and Oin.

They were laughing merrily and talking about absolute nonsense. I'd prefer not to see what they're talking about; I'm slightly scared… Next up is Eomer and Eowyn!

"You did not need to grab me and drag me over here!" Eowyn said angrily.

"There are boys in this class!" Eomer protested.

"And?" Eowyn said, staring at Eomer, who shrunk under her glare.

"Um… Well…"

Hahaha, next table now; I'm sure no one would like to see Eomer murdered. Now… SARUMAN AND PIPPIN!

Wait… Why are they sitting together?

"So, I'm basically saying, it's okay to want to rule but you shouldn't kill, okay?" Pippin said calmly to Saruman.

"I see… I understand but how can you rule without killing. Saruman asked. Pippin sighed and began to explain again. Awhhhh

Now it's Aragorn and Legolas!

"This subject is pointless." Legolas said.

"It might be helpful." Aragorn replied.

"You just want to see your future with Arwen." Legolas shot at him.

"…What about you? Don't you want to see if you ever find love?" Aragorn asked.

"… No! Seeing the future ruins things!" Legolas crossed his arms.

Let them argue in peace. Going to the back row, we have Merry and Kili and on the table next to them were Fili and Boromir.

The four were all talking and laughing but they were also keeping a careful eye on Pippin. How sweet!

Sitting near the four were Frodo and Dwalin. I wonder what they're talking about!

"…"Frodo said.

"…" Dwalin replied.

Um… As interesting as this conversation is, let's move on to the last table, which has THORIN AND THRANDUIL!

"I hate you and your ugly crown."

"I hate you and your ugly beard."

"At least I have a beard."

"Why would I want a beard?"

…

"Now! Cast your minds into the future! Look into the crystal balls and see!"

Most people actually tried to do this and-

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Eomer, what's wrong?" Eowyn asked, worriedly.

"My boy, tell us what you saw!" Professor Trelawney swept over to their table.

"I- I saw… Eowyn!" he gasped.

"What?" Everyone cried (well, most people)

"What do you mean?" Eowyn asked, putting a hand on his arm, scared.

"You- you were getting married!" Eomer said.

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.

.

Everyone went on with their business.

"Eomer…" Eowyn started.

"My boy! You may possess the Inner Eye! I foresee a great but terrible future for you both!" And then she swept off.

"Eww, Aragorn, what are you doing?"

"What?" Aragorn asked, looking up from his notebook.

"Look!" Legolas pointed at the crystal ball.

"Legolas, can you even see anything?"

"No! This subject is pointless! I hate it!"

"Okay, Legolas."

Legolas the sweet little drama princess.

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.

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"So, what do you see Pippin?"

{"Why is he talking to Pippin?" Merry whispered angrily}

"I'm not sure… It's orange and back, like fire…. I've got a strange feeling I've seen it before…. What about you?"

"A pretty little cottage… But that's it." Saruman said, after looking into the crystal ball.

"That's seems good!" Pippin smiled.

…

"Boys, why don't you give it a go?" Professor Trelawney smiled at Frodo and Dwalin.

"O-okay." Frodo said. He let lose his mind but focused on the crystal ball. After a while, he sighed and said, "I can't see anything."

"Oh. Why don't you give it a try?" She asked, turning to Dwalin

Dwalin grunted then leaned forward in his sear. Slowly as he looked into the crystal ball, his eyes grew wider and his face went redder.

"My boy! What do you see?" Professor Trelawney asked.

"N-n-nothing! And then he turned away from the table and folded his arms.

"Right… Well, Mr. Frodo, would you like another go?"

"Okay." Frodo tried again, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed.

"What's wrong?!" Some people asked, getting up.

"A ring! It grabbed me! And this creature! It was horrible!" Frodo gasped.

"FRDO!" A voice was heard yelling. The source of the scream came rushing into the room.

"I heard you scream! What's wrong?" Sam asked.

Sitting away from this mess were two fabulous people.

"I have cool glasses,2 Thranduil was saying.

"I have beautiful hair."

"It's messy. My hair is better."

"I have beautiful nephews."

"I have a beautiful son."

"My nephews are more beautiful."

"I think not."

"The crystal ball agrees with me." Thorin yelled.

"No! It agrees with me because that's the truth!"

"Let us ask it then! And prove I'm right!"

"We'll see about that!"

The two stared into the crystal ball.

.

.

.

"ARGH!" Thranduil screamed, sinking to his knees.

"Haha! People think my nephews are beautiful!"

"Well! My son is the prettiest!" Thranduil stood, towering over Thorin who glared back at him.

Ah, some people are so silly! =D

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That was really bad, I'm so sorry!

Please review and tell me what lesson you would like next and what you thought of this!

Thank you! xx


	4. Charms

Charms 

A/N- Hey guys! Today's lesson is Charms with Slytherin and Hufflepuff! I'm writing in my lessons and I've had a really bad week so I'm sorry for the badness. Disclaimer, please…

Aragorn- I'll do it. Theoutcast4 doesn't own anything.

A/N- Thank you, Aragorn.

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"Settle down, class." Professor Flitwick squeaked.

The class stopped yelling but some continued to talk. The class were sitting like this:

Thranduil…Arwen…desk…Nori…Oin

Saruman…Sam…P. Flitwick…Ori…Gloin

Dwalin…Boromir…Dori…Bofur

Thorin…Faramir…Bilbo…Bifur

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D

O

O

R

«Now, I am going to teach you about as spell called 'Wigardium Leviosa.' Please repeat after me, 'Wigardium Leviosa.' «

"Wigardium Leviosa." The class repeated.

"Good. Now this spell causes the object you are pointing at to 'fly' into the air. Also, when you are casting this spell, with your wrist, swish and flick, like this. Now, you try."

The class attempted to do this.

"Good! And try the spell and the gesture together!" Professor Flitwick squeaked.

And so, Thranduil did a rather rude gesture and said something quite rude too!

Everyone talked whilst practising.

Thranduil ignored Saruman who was trying to talk to him while Dwalin and Thorin spoke in Dwarfish to each other.

Arwen, Sam, Boromir and Faramir all talked together.

On the other side of the room, everyone was talking normally and happily. Nor, Ori and Dori were being as polite as ever, Bombur still eating and Bilbo was struggling to keep up with the conversations.

After a while some people managed to do this spell and also…

**BASH**

"Oh my gosh! Professor, I'm so sorry!" Arwen gasped, covering her mouth and getting up and running over to Professor Flitwick.

"It's okay, I'm fine. Just, next time perform the spell on the feather, okay?" Professor Flitwick had landed on the pile of books that he stood on and it had all happened too fast for him to perform a spell to cushion his fall.

After checking professor Flitwick was alright, almost everyone assured Arwen that everything was okay, even Thranduil.

"It's alright, niece, it was a mistake." Thranduil said in his that smexy voice of his (I know she isn't his real niece but they're both elves so… ;D)

"It's alright, Arwen! Honest!" Sam cried.

"Everyone makes mistakes." Boromir and Faramir said.

Then, form the other side of the room, Ori, Nori, Dori and Bilbo comforted her as well.

But I think you can guess who wasn't nice to her.

Mm hmm, that's right.

Thorin humphed and muttered loudly, "Stupid she-self. Who would make a mistake like that?"

The people who weren't Thorin's friends' and were being nice to Arwen looked at Thorin evilly.

"She made a simple mistake! Anyone could've done it!"

"But no-one else in this class has." Thorin pointed out, smirking.

"At least she has nice hair!" Thranduil said.

"Well, I have beautiful hair!"

Then everyone started yelling and arguing about who had the best hair.

*cough* Thranduil *cough*

Professor Flitwick shot sparks into the air and he class quietened down.

"Don't fight! Mr. Thorin, don't be rude-" Professor said angrily, before being cut off.

"No! I am the King Under The Mountain!" And with that Thorin stormed out of the room leaving an echoing silence which was then broken by Thranduil.

"Well, good riddance!"

"Why did he call himself the King Under the Mountain?" Sam asked.

"No more talking! Work, please!" Professor Flitwick squeaked.

Everyone worked for the next 10 minutes.

Then…

"POTTY BREAK!" Saruman yelled, sprinting out of the room.

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A/N- Hope you enjoyed that! Please review what lesson you would like next and what you thought of this! Please don't be rude when reviewing. Thank you!


	5. Care of Magical Creatures

**Care of Magical Creatures**

A/N= Hi guys! Today's lesson is CoMC with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff! Please enjoy and please review! Disclaimer please…?

Faramir- theoutcast4 doesn't own anything here except for the plot. Was that alright?

A/N= Yes, brilliant! Thank you!

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"Hurry up, Bombur!" Bofur called, as he walked down the Hagrid's hut with Bifur and Bilbo.

Nori, Ori and Dori were walking a little ahead of them, discussing what they would do in the lesson.

Already at Hagrid's hut, were Arwen and Sam, who were talking to the elves of Ravenclaw. Almost everyone had arrived at Hagrid's hut when Hagrid came out of the forest. The class fell silent as he stomped up towards them.

"Alright class! I am Hagrid. Your Care of Magical Creatures teacher and Gamekeeper. Is everyone here?" He smiled at them.

Just as those words left his mouth, Gandalf and Radagast ran into them.

"Now! Who do we 'ave here then?" Hagrid frowned lightly.

"Gandalf."

"Radagast."

"You're late."

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to." Gandalf said.

Everyone stared at him before Hagrid shook his head and turned to look at the whole class.

"Today's lesson is about Unicorns! Step over 'ere now!" Hagrid led the way round to the back of the hut.

"Woah!"

"Wow!"

"They're beautiful!"

"Stay back! They're gentle creatures and they tend to trust girls' more than boys. Stay back there!"

Radagast had tried to get close to the unicorns.

"Sorry! They're just so fascinating!"

"Ay, they are. Unicorn foals are gold till they're about two years ol' and then they turn silver. Don't turn pure white till they're adults. This is a unicorn family. Who wants to try and get near to 'em?"

While Hagrid was saying all this, Arwen, Sam and Radagast were whispering about how wonderful the unicorns were.

At the back of the crowd, Elrond was talking to Galadriel and Gandalf.

"This isn't needed to help me in my career. It's a waste of time."

"What _are_ you hoping to do?" Galadriel asked him.

Over to the left, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur were slightly hidden and they were laughing, talking and eating (Well, Bombur was -_-)

"BOYS! Stop that! Detention tomorrow afternoon!" Hagrid yelled. (Wow, Hagrid, that time of the month, huh?)

The three stopped and looked at Hagrid.

"Now, who wanted to…?" Hagrid looked at Radagast. "Oh, alrigh' then, come on over. Slowly now, don't let 'em think you're a danger to 'em."

Radagast slowly stepped up next to the unicorns.

Hagrid looked impressed and said, "Anyone else?"

Arwen stepped forward and joined Radagast.

"Well done, you two. Take 10 points to Hufflepuff, each."

Hagrid then set the some work to do. They had to draw a unicorn and describe it.

Faramir was having problems. He couldn't draw. He sat there trying to draw the baby unicorn until he heard a small laugh and Arwen sat beside him.

"Oh, hello…" Faramir stared at her blankly, wondering why she was sitting with him.

Without a word, Arwen took his paper and started to draw the unicorn.

"N-no! You shouldn't-!" Faramir shook his head frantically.

"But I want to!" Arwen laughed again. "So… you have a crush on Eowyn, don't you?"

Faramir went bright red.

Over in Elrond's gang, he was till gossiping and now Sam had joined them.

In the middle of all this, Sam happened to look up.

"Mr. Elrond, isn't that Linder?" Sam pointed over to the Stone walls.

"He's following you again!" Gandalf smirked.

"Urgh…"

The lesson went on fine (overall).

"Okay. Class, that's it for today, then. Hand in your work and the homework is to find out what unicorns eat and where they're normally found."

The class walked up to the school castle.

"I think Care of Magical Creatures I my favourite subject!" Radagast said, excitedly.

Hagrid beamed through his beard.

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Thank you for reading! Please review! Reviews are beautiful!

Emma x


	6. Potions

**Potions**

A/N- Hey guys! Today, we have Potions with… Griffindor and Hufflepuff! I hope you enjoy this! Disclaimer, please!

Dwalin-…theoutcast4 does not own anything.

A/N- Thank you!

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Everyone was already in the potions classroom, waiting for Professor Slughorn.

They chose their own seats and were sitting like this:

… … …

… … …Pippin..Merry

… … …

*Bang*

"This class has no wand. Waving. It is the lesson of Potions." Professor Slughorn was trying to imitate Professor Snape.

The class stared at the pudgy teacher as he walked up to the front of the classroom and stood behind his desk.

While he did the register, the whole class shook with silent laughter.

He was pronouncing every letter in each name.

When he finished the register, he looked around the room.

"Aragorn, my boy!" He boomed. "Are you dating that pretty blonde girl sitting next to you?"

Aragorn looked at Arwen then at Legolas and made a face.

(I swear… Why is he insulting Legolas?!)

"No! I'm dating Arwen! And he's a man!" Aragorn practically sceamed.

"Yes! I'm a beautiful man!" Legolas jumped up.

"Oh…Aragorn!" Professor Slughorn said, suddenly strict.

Professor Slughorn asked Aragorn 5 hard questions to which he answered all of them correctly.

.

.

.

"Today we'll be making a Hiccupping Potion. Now, potions are incredibly important things. They can kill, save and… do other amazing things. Now follow the instructions on the board. Let's see how much you can do."

He waved his wand and the instructions appeared on the board and the class got to work.

Along the first row on the left, Eowyn and Faramir were working well together, even with Eomer glaring at them.

Eowyn and Eomer had got to the classroom after Faramir and Eowyn had quickly sat next to him.

Bard and Eomer, who were 'working' next to them weren't working well. In fact, they weren't even working!

Behind them, Bofur and Arwen were working but Arwen spent more time talking to Aragorn so in both pairs, Bofur and Legolas were doing most of the work.

In the back row, Frodo and Sam were working.

Well… Sam had made Frodo sit far away from the cauldron and did all the work himself.

Next to them were Gimli and Gloin who kept arguing about what to do.

On the other side of the room were Bifur and Bombur, who weren't even attempting to do the work. They were just messing around. I hope they pass their exams.

In front of them were Fili, Kili, Pippin and Merry. They were doing the work but were also planning pranks and laughing. Slightly daunting…

On the front row, Dori, and Ori were working hard and were obviously working well together.

Next to them were Nori and Bilbo who were working quite well together.

Professor Slughorn was walking around the room and was doing his usual act. He was being nice to all the good students like Faramir, Eowyn, Dori, Ori, Nori, Bilbo and Frodo.

He was being mean tot Sam, Aragorn, Bifur, Bombur and Fili.

The only people who were actually making the potion right were Eowyn and Faramir, Legolas, Sam, Dori and Ori.

The others, well, they weren't making much of a mess…

Around half of the lesson had passed when the fatal incident occurred.

It all started with the four tricksters of this generation, Fili, Kili, Merry and Pippin. They had now abandoned their potions after 15 minutes of the lesson and had started to mess about.

They had come up with a list of pranks to do before the end of the year, a list of teachers they liked and they then started to mess around with the potion.

They started adding random things to their cauldrons and then mixed them all up.

BANG

BOOM

FLASH

SPARKLE

RAINBOW UNICORNS

The cauldron exploded.

Wouldn't that be a wonderful letter home.

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Thanks for reading!

Please review and tell me what lesson you would like next and what you thought of this!

A batch of cookies to all who read this!

Thank you again! xx


	7. Transfiguration

Transfiguration_

A/N- Hello everyone! I know someone requested Quidditch but I couldn't think of anything for it! I'm sorry! But, for now, enjoy Transfiguration with Slytherin and Ravenclaw!

Eomer- *cough*

A/N- OMG! Disclaimer, please!

Eomer-theoutcast4 does not own anything.

A/N-Thank you! Now, onwards ho!

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Gandalf and Radagast were already in the Transfiguration classroom. Apart from a random cat, they were the only ones there. Elrond and his crew (Galadriel and Haldir) came into the room and right away spotted the two.

"Why so early, _delinquents_?" Elrond smirked at them, as he and Galadriel sat behind them (Haldir sat behind them).

"We wanted to be early for once." Radagast answered.

Elrond and his crew laughed at that and they continued to tease them as Saruman walked in happily and sat down on his own and the front. Everyone in the class made sure to sit away from him, like this:

_._...Saruman._...Radagast. Gandalf

_._..._._...Galadriel. Elrond

Oin. Balin…Thorin. Dwalin…Haldir. Thranduil

Boromir._..._._..._._

The students all got out their books and started talking. Saruman was studying when he happened to look up.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! A cat! AHHH! Oh my GAWF!" Saruman screamed.

The other students laughed at this. Who knew Saruman was scared of cats? Some of the students said hi to the cat and walked up to it but…

"Headmistress McGonagall!"

"Sit. Boromir, move to the front."

Boromir sighed and moved to the front row and sat away from Saruman.

Our lovely Professor McGonagall did the register quickly and then looked around the room.

"Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn here in Hogwarts." She said strictly. "Anyone messing around in these lessons will leave and not come back. Take this as a warning."

The class sat still and listened to her every word. After this, they wrote notes and were then told to try and turn a matchstick into a silver needle.

While they were doing this, they heard some running out in the corridor and soon enough, someone came running into the classroom.

Denethor ran to the front of the room and trapped his eldest son in a hug.

Boromir yelled out and shouted, "What the heck!?"

Professor McGonagall stared at the two.

"Boromir, do you know this man?" She asked.

Boromir looked at his father and then back at his professor.

"No."

"Well then-"

"BOROMIR! MY SON! HOW COULD YOU?" Boromir cried out.

Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows at this.

"Heh heh…" Boromir laughed nervously.

. . .

Professor McGonagall walked around the classroom. Only a few of the students were actually making progress; Saruman, Galadriel and Gandalf.

"And you're gonna hear me roar~ Louder! Louder than a lion-"

Gandalf hit the face of his watch to make it shut up.

Everyone stared at Gandalf as Professor Mcgonagall made her way towards him.

Gandalf straed at the headmistress, wondering what she would do. Oh, his stupid watch. He wore it everywhere and it sang at a specific time every day but he didn't know why or how.

"Detension, Mr. Gandalf."

.

.

.

Oooh, scaryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy… Not.

The rest of the lesson went perfectly well, if you just ignored Denethor crying at the back of the room.

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Thank you for reading! Please review!

Brownies to you all.

\\(^.^)/


	8. Flying

**Flying **

A/N- Hey guys! I hope you're all well! Enjoy this chapter of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff learning how to fly. But first, disclaimer, please!

Dori- theoutcast4 does not own anything. Thank you.

A/N- Thank _you_, Dori!

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"I've flown many times at home and I am very good at it!" Bifur yelled out.

"I am much better than you!" Bombur said gruffly.

"You can barely get off the ground! I'm better than both of you!" Bofur laughed.

Gandalf heard this and laughed. "I am the best! You lot can't even compare to me!" He boasted.

Balin joined in and said, "I know a lot about flying. I know all the types of brooms and I have the latest broomstick at home."

"Doesn't mean you're good at it!" Radagast said, causing everyone to roar with laughter.

Meanwhile, Elrond was yelling at Arwen.

"I forbid it. You will keep your feet safely on the ground!"

"It's perfectly safe! Madam Hooch will be there!" Arwen argued.

Sam and Faramir stood behind Arwen and behind Elrond, stood Galadriel and Haldir.

"That doesn't mean something could go wrong!"

Arwen crossed her arms, "What? What could go wrong?"

"The broomstick might be faulty! And you might fly away!" Elrond yelled.

Before Arwen could say anything back to him, madam hooch walked in calling for silence.

"Everyone, be quiet and stand next to a broomstick. Come on, hurry up!"

The student hurried to do this and to stand by their friends.

"You are to put your hand out over your broomstick and say 'up!'" she ordered.

The class followed her instructions but only Gandalf, Arwen, Faramir and Bofur managed to get their broomsticks up into their hands.

Those whose brooms didn't jump up immediately began to ask questions about this.

"Try it again." Was her answer.

After that madam hooch showed them how to properly mount their brooms.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Elrond kept asking.

"Yes, I am, Mr. Elrond!" she snapped. "When I blow my whistle, you are to kick off the ground. Keep your broomstick steady, rise a few feet then come back down by leaning forward slightly. One- Two- Three *tweet*!"

Most of the class managed to do this perfectly… except for Elrond (who refused to leave the ground), Bombur (whose weight wouldn't let him rise up) and Gandalf (whose broomstick didn't return to the ground until Madam Hooch helped him).

Immediately, the class broke out in discussion, boasting and teasing the others.

"Bombur! I thought you said you could fly perfectly!"

"Elrond! What's the matter? Too scared?"

"Did you see me? Did you see me?"

"I did it, wonderfully! And it was perfectly safe!"

"That was fun!"

The class was clearly very excited!

"Quiet!" Madam Hooch barked. "Now, I want you to do that again but go higher than remain there for a moment and then return to the ground."

The class prepared to do this and Madam Hooch blew the whistle.

Everyone rose into the air, (except Elrond and Bombur) and went higher than before.

BASH!

Ori fell to the ground. There were lots of yells as his friends and Madam Hooch hurried over to him.

"A bruised rib and a sprained wrist. I'll take him to Madam Pomfrey."

Dori and Nori left with her after she gave her warning not to fly else they be expelled.

The students talked about random things. Elrond continues his argument with Arwen, Bilbo spoke to Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, Balin and Gandalf about lunch. Radagast spoke to Sam about Gardening Club. Bilbo began to rise up into the air and fly up, up and away! Haldir made- Wait, Bilbo!

Everyone called Bilbo and told him to come back down before someone saw but Bilbo kept rising higher.

"I can't control it!" He yelled.

"Lean forward!" Balin yelled back.

"No! It's too scary!" He screamed.

Elrond used this as a point in his argument against Arwen but she wasn't even listening.

Gandalf and Bofur, both skilled fliers got on their brooms and flew after Bilbo. When they caught up to him, Gandalf grabbed him and pulled him onto his broom and Bofur took his broomstick and then they flew back down to the ground.

Bilbo sat down.

.

.

.

He was very scared after that experience even if it was resolved very quickly!

Bofur let go of Bilbo's broom and it immediately flew upwards.

Everyone laughed at Bilbo and teased him and Gandalf and Bofur received a lot of praise and they boasted some more.

Then Madam Hooch re-entered the scene.

.

.

.

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Thank you for reading! And please review! I don't get any :(

Goodbye for now!


	9. Herbology

Herbology

A/N-Hey guys! Sorry for posting this so late but please enjoy this Herbology lesson with Slytherin and Ravenclaw! Disclaimer?

Harry freakin'' Potter- theoutcast4 doesn't own anything!

Le moi-Thanks Harry!

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"Everyone! Professor Sprout says we're in Greenhouse 3!" Galadriel called out to the students who were still walking to their Herbology lesson.

When they all finally reached Greenhouse 3, they quickly stood around the middle table.

"Today, we'll be repotting Mandrakes. Who can tell me the properties of the Mandrake?" Professor Sprout asked.

"Mandrake is a powerful restorative. It is used to return people who have been cursed or transfigured to their original forms." Balin answered.

"Well done. 10 points to Ravenclaw. The Mandrake is an essential part to most antidotes. But it is also dangerous. Who can tell me why?"

Saruman answered this time, saying, "The cry of a Mandrake is fatal to whoever hears it."

"Excellent. 10 points to Slytherin. These Mandrake are still quite young so they wont kill yet but they will knock you out for quite a while."

Several people shrugged. They didn't mind missing a bit of school.

"Take a pair of earmuffs and make sure your ears are completely covered. When it is safe to remove them, I will give you the thumbs up."

Everyone rushed to grab a pair and put them on.

"Everyone ready? Alright then!" Professor Sprout pulled out one of the Mandrakes.

Saruman fell to the floor. Professor Sprout quickly put the Mandrake away and hurried over to him.

"Who wants to take him to Madam Pomfrey?"

There was a deafening silence.

"Boromir. You take him."

Boromir glared and seized Saruman by his arms and began dragging him out.

They could hear some faint yelling but they all ignored it. This was Hogwarts after all.

"Okay, class. You are to pull the Mandrake out, then put it in a new pot and fill it up with mud. Earmuffs on." Professor Sprout demonstrated and then the class got to work. None of them seemed to be enjoying the lesson.

After 30 long painstaking minutes, they had finally got all the Mandrakes in their pots and covered up their mouths.

"HYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A loud shriek filled the air and though no one could hear it, they all saw the source of the noise.

Gollum ran/flew into the Greenhouse. Everyone screamed.

"Calm down!" Professor Sprout was yelling, forgetting no one could hear her.

Gollum ran around screaming.

The people near the door ran out but the others were forced to run out of the way or hide somewhere. Professor Sprout cast protective spells and tried to mobilise Gollum but he ran around too quickly for her.

Gollum jumped on top of Thranduil and pulled his hair.

Thranduil roared angrily and pulled him off and repeatedly hit him with a chair, even after he was knocked out.

.

.

.

Wow. Anger issues? I guess Thranduil really cares about his hair!

Sigh. Gollum isn't even a student here! Maybe he's related to Filch…

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Thank you for reading!

Please review!

See you!


	10. Astrology

Astrology

A/N- Hey! To be honest, I want to move people around in their Houses but I'm not sure if I can do that Anyhow! I hope you enjoy this chapter of Astrology with Griffindor and Hufflepuff! Disclaimer?

_Professor _Snape- theoutcast4 does not own anything as she is incompetent of doing so.

Le moi- THANK YOU SNAPEY! *fangirls*

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In the Griffindor and Hufflepuff houses, 23 students were waking up for Astrology. It was 11:30 and they needed to be in their lesson at 12. Some got ready quickly, others slowly and some didn't get at all. Oh, how Dori, Ori, Bombur and Gloin loved their sleep…

Some students were very excited for this lesson and could not keep still. Aragorn was looking forward to this lesson and had dragged Legolas to the Astrology tower ahead of everyone else. They soon met up with Arwen, Sam and Faramir.

When all the students were gathered up outside the astrology room, they were finally let in. they were immediately set a load of work. They were to write down the names of the star that were out and show where they were on a star chart. And very soon, some students got very bored.

Bofur began giving the stars rude names and shouted them out. Nori offered to help people and gave them the wrong names. Pippin and Merry roped Aragorn into their game. They threw and rolled around a telescope.

Although they all tried their best so the Professor wouldn't catch them; they still got caught.

"Mr. Bofur. What are you doing?"

Bofur jumped and attempted to hide his 'work'. "Um, work?"

"Detention, Mr. Bofur. Now, do the work you have been set." Professor Sinistra frowned.

Soon after that, Nori got caught.

"Mr. Nori would you be so kind as to meet Mr. Filch in detention?" She said, correcting Frodo's work.

"Kili! Fili! Put Bard down!" Professor Sinistra screamed across the room.

The two hurried to do so.

"Sorry, Miss!"

"Just looking for my quill, Miss!"

Professor Sinistra sighed and moved on. This class seemed impossible to her.

"Pippin! Merry! _Aragorn!_ Put that telescope down! Detention! For a week!" Professor yelled at them yet none of them could help but to laugh. That earned them another week of detention and more yelling.

After that scene, the class was very quiet.

.

.

.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh my goshhh! It hurts!" Eomer screamed.

Eowyn jumped up and hurried over to him, along with Professor Sinistra.

"Eomer! What's wrong?"

Eomer held up his finger. "I GOT A PAPER CUT!" He cried.

*WHACK*

Eowyn walked back to her telescope.

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Thank you for reading! And thank you for those reviews! I think I'm going to add Tauriel in later on though… I can't believe I didn't add her in! I don't even know why I didn't! Thank you again! xoxo


	11. Transfer Student!

**Transfer Student! **

"Students! We have a transfer student today and we must place her in a House!" Professor McGonagall said, standing up.

Immediately, students began whispering. A new student, directly after the Christmas holidays?

A girl with long reddish brown hair walked up to the front of the hall from a side door, led by Professor Longbottem who, after she sat down on the stool, placed the Sorting Hat on her head.

'Hmm, Tauriel… Brave and reckless. Your two main points. But very caring…'

"GRIFFINDOR!" The Hat called out causing the Griffindor Table to cheer loudly.

Tauriel smiled and walked to the cheering table, sitting next to Eowyn.

"Hello! My name is Tauriel. Nice to meet you!"

"Hey Tauriel! My name is Eowyn!"

"Why did you transfer in the middle of the year?" Kili asked, staring at her.

Fili hit his arm, shaking his head at him but Tauriel laughed.

"It's okay. My parents wanted to move to England so we moved! I used to go Durmstrang."

"You speak English pretty well." Legolas noted.

"Yeah, I grew up speaking English as well as my home language."

Tauriel was instantly popular. She was pretty and had plenty of back-talk. She's going to have guys falling all over her.


	12. Muggle Studies

Muggle Studies

A/N- Heyy! I hope you guys are all okay! Today's lesson is Muggle Studies! I hope you all enjoy it! Oh and sorry it's so late! I had exams and stuff! Aye~ Anyhow! On with the lesson! Wait… first…?

Denethor- MY SON WON'T HUG ME!

Theoutcast4- Um… Right. Uh, disclaimer, please.

Faramir- theoutcast4doesn'townanything. FATHER, I'LL HUG YOU!

Theoutcast4- Heh heh… right…

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The student sat around the classroom, all talking and waiting for their teacher to arrive. It was their first lesson of the day but they were all excited for this lesson.

"Why did I pick this subject again?" asked Princess Legolas.

"In your words you 'want to see how the peasants live,'" Aragorn smirked at the scowling Legolas who had obviously not had his coffee that morning.

Behind these two were Pippin, Merry and Saruman. Pippin was trying to get Merry to talk to Saruman but Merry refused to.

The class didn't have to wait long before a young, small witch came rushing in.

"Sorry! I was reading this muggle novel and I lost track of time! Okay! Everyone in their seats?" Professor Manaka Jones did the register before explaining what they had to do. "Okay! Today, you will be doing a project on 'Electronics'! I will give you an opening of them but then you will have to get into groups of four and read watch everything else! Got that? Now quickly get into groups!"

The class moved around slightly while Professor Jones made the many different books land on different desks.

"Ready? Okay. Muggles use electricity for most of the things we would use magic for! They use it for washing up, lights. Cooking and to get news around! Electricity is transferred around the world using wires and satellites! * You are to read watch what they use it for and how it gets around! For extension- you can say whether magic is better or not! Okay! Off you go!"

There were only two muggle-borns in this class- Bifur and Dori; and they were working together with Bilbo and Oin (both purebloods).

Other groups were: Aragorn (half-blood), Legolas (pureblood), Boromir (pureblood), Gimli (half-blood) and Frodo (half-blood), Merry (half-blood), Pippin (pureblood), Saruman (pureblood) and the last group of purebloods: Eomer, Eowyn, Gandalf and Radagast.

They all got to work, researching electricity and making notes, some even drawing.

"FOOOOOOODDDDDDD!" An ugly troll came running into the room. "TOM WANTS FOOD!"

Immediately, they all began attacking him (with the exception of Saruman who hid under a table and the Professor who tried to stop them).

The fighters threw things at him, books, ink pots, weed, shot curves at him and screamed at him.

Tom didn't fight back. He yelled at them to leave him alone and burst into tears as they bullied him.

"MUMMMYYYYY!" He cried, eventually escaping from the room (With no food).

Professor Jones stood up and yelled out, "Class! Get back to your seats! Okay? Do your work!"

The class began to work again but none of them actually felt like working anymore. Merry then made the discovery of the century.

"Wow! Look at page 96 of 'Muggles and Their Games." Origami! It's awesome!"

Everyone who had a copy is the book immediately turned to that page, and everyone else crowded around them.

"Wow!"

"That's amazing!"

"So cool!"

"No! Class! This isn't till our 20th lesson!" Professor Jones tried to stop them but everyone ignored her.

They all for prices if parchment and began following the instructions on the page.

"Class! If you don't finish your project now, you'll have to do it for homework!" Professor Jones warned but again, everyone ignored her.

And that's how it went for the rest of the lesson.

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Sorry it's so late! I've had so many exams and family problems and friend problems and bleh. But please review! Thank you for reading!

Bye! Xoxo


	13. Ancient Runes

Ancient Runes

A/N- Hey! I have honestly lost my will to write so this may be my second to last update before I put this on hold. And it doesn't help that I'm trying to deal with a lot of personal problems too -_-

Fili- theoutcast4 doesn't own anything!

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The class entered the classroom, all talking and they took their seats. The classroom was shaped like a small theatre, with four seats on each side of the room with a pathway separating them.

"Quiet, class! Everyone here? Good! Now get in your seats and get out your books!" Professor Bathsheen Bubbling yelled as she entered the classroom from the side door. The class immediately did what she asked. No one wanted to be on her bad side. She limped over to the board and used her wand to write down the title, 'Adjectives.'

"As you can see, we will be learning adjectives today! Turn to page 90!" She yelled. "I want you to copy down the adjectives that are in there then read the passages and when I tell you to, you will explain it to your partner! Start working!"

The class did as they were told and didn't talk but then the students in the middle section id the class began passing notes.

Ori- Help! I can't draw the third one!

Fili- Hold on, Ori. I'll do it for you.

Ori- Thank you!

Balin- You two! Don't pass notes!

Bifur- No! Pass notes!

Fili- Balin, don't be such a killjoy.

Ori- I was only asking for help!

Bifur- Now we're talking though. Ha anyone been in the same class as the new girl?

Fili- She's in Kili's Arithmency's class right now.

Ori- That's cool! It's great that we have another girl too!

Balin- She used to be childhood friends with Legolas.

Bifur- How do you know that?!

"Boys! How dare you pass notes in my lesson! Stand up and do your work like that! Professor Bubbling yelled. "And 5 points each from you houses!"

The rest of the class sniggered at the four but then quickly went back to their work as the Professor glared at them.

Over in the back row, the only four students there felt quite hungry. Thranduil, Gandalf, Bard and Gloin all decided to eat while Professor Bubbling was checking the work at the front.

Thranduil had his packet of Daratoes in his bag and he elegantly ate them.

Gandalf has a pack of Mollyland Cookies (Which Gloin kept taking).

Bard had his very own pack of Tak Toks.

"Oh, _lovely _food you have here."

The four boys slowly turned to their teacher, who seemed to be radiating an evil aura.

"Shame you'll have to miss half of dinner tonight because of your detention with Mr. Filch. And 5 points each from your house." She glared.

Eomer laughed out loud. "HAHAA you have to miss dinner and sit with Filch for detention! Hah!"

"And perhaps Eomer would like to join you?"

"…No?"

"I think so. Now- BACK TO WORK!"

The next ten minutes went fine until…

**FWOOSH**

A paper aeroplane landed on Fili's desk.

'We'll give you 10 galleons if you…'

Fili read this and smirked, placing the letter in his pocket.

A few minutes passed before Fili suddenly stood up, causing everyone to look at him. He ripped of his shirt and ran out of the room screaming. "I AM SHREK! BOW DOWN TO THE TOILET!

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Thank you for reading! Sorry it's so late! xoxo


	14. Arithmency

Arithmency 

"Hey, Tauriel! Are you sitting with anyone?" Legolas asked.

"Oh! Yes, I'm sitting with Kili!" She answered, smiling.

…

"How late do you think she's going to be this time?" laughed Bofur.

"Who knows? She might miss the whole lesson though! A sixth-year said that she's done that once!" Nori replied.

"I hope she doesn't do that today! I want to actually learn something today!" Bilbo said, crossly.

"I wouldn't mind. I haven't done the homework." Bombur said in reply.

"Legolas, would you quit staring at them and talk to us!" Aragorn whisper-yelled.

"They don't even know each other." Legolas said, sullenly.

"New friends tend not to know each other before hand." Boromir commented, testily. "Get over it."

Legolas looked at them. "You're not telling Dwalin to wake up and talk."

"Dwalin likes his sleep. It's perfectly fine. Your case, however, isn't. So stop." Boromir snapped.

"I just happen to be looking his that direction." Legolas replied, resting his head in his arms again.

"Well, look in our direction and talk to us!" Aragorn pulled Legolas' hair. ((Le gasp!)

"I don't like your faces."

-_-U

"So, Merry, has your Yagasha blossomed yet?" Radagast asked, putting away his books.

Merry awoke with a start. "What?"

"Has your Yagasha blossomed yet?" He repeated patiently.

"Oh. Well… Not really… But it's starting to! Is that bad that it's starting so late?"

"Not at all! It just means you haven't been watering it as frequently." Radagast replied knowledgably.

T_T

"And it turns out that Thorin had left Fili at Dwalin's place!" Kili laughed.

"Hahaha! Wow! All that fuss! Hey, why don't I tell you a story from my childhood?" Tauriel smiled. Kili leaned forward. "Haha, well Legolas and I had a bet; who could find the most apples, and…"

"SHE SAID MY NAME!" Legolas whisper-yelled. "Now they're laughing again… WAIT! What if she's telling him embarrassing stories about ME!"

"Just ignore them!" Aragorn hid his laughter.

"Legolas! Seriously? It's not good to be like this! I'm telling you. Go for someone you actually have a chance with!" Boromir laughed.

"But-!" Legolas was iteruppted by someone running into the room.

"I'm so sorry, class! I forgot where the classroom was! How late am I?"

"30 minutes!"

"Oh no! I'm so sorry! Ahhhhhh! I'll do the register." Professor Septima Vector did the register before setting them some work. "I can't teach you enough now so just read pages 67-70 and then come and get a sheet."

And obviously, they all did the work.

Not.

A few students read the pages and did the work quickly before messing about. The teacher took no notice of them as she marked her other work.

They talked, made origami, threw stuff around, played, spelt and ate.

After 10 minutes of this, the class began a class discussion.

"Who's most likely to become a murderer?"

"DWALIN!"

"BOROMIR!"

"Oi! Just 'cos we're Slytherin doesn't-"

"Shut it!"

"Most likely to marry first?"

"Kili!"

"Tauriel!"

**BLUSH**

"Hey, you know that teacher, Slughorn?"

"Yeah?"

"He's messed up, isn't he?"

2Yeah!"

"So true!"

"He's just old!"

"I heard he gets drunk."

Everyone turned to Professor Vector who blinked at them.

"What? I'm not allowed to gossip now?"

"Uh…"

"What about Professor McGonagall? What's up with her?"

"She's just been through a lot but I know for a fact that Professor Jones had OCD."

"Seriously?"

"Yep!"

"Do you know what's up with that first-year Slytherin?"

"Nah…"

"He has very little magic. He's almost a squib." Radagast answered.

"And he's in Slytherin?""

…

T_TU

So… This is the last chapter!

I might post another chapter about Quidditch but to be honest, I've lost my will to write….

But, this is technically the end! (Of all of the fighting…)

Thank you all for reading! And remember! I don't own anything here!

Brownies for you all!

Emma x


	15. Quidditch

Quidditch 

A/N- So this is just showing the teams and who I think would win.

Slytherin-

Beater- Dwalin

Beater- Thorin

Chaser- _Other_

Chaser- _Other_

Chaser- Oin

Keeper- Boromir

Seeker- Saruman

VS Ravenclaw = Slytherin WIN

VS Gryffindor = Gryffindor WIN

VS Hufflepuff = Hufflepuff WIN

Ravenclaw-

Beater- _Other_

Beater- _Other_

Chaser- Haldir

Chaser- Galadriel

Chaser- _Other_

Keeper- Elrond

Seeker- Radagast

VS Gryffindor = Gryffindor WIN

VS Hufflepuff = Ravenclaw WIN

Hufflepuff-

Beater- Bifur

Beater- Bofur

Chaser- Arwen

Chaser- _Other_

Chaser- _Other_

Keeper- Faramir

Seeker- Ori

VS Gryffindor = Hufflepuff WIN

Gryffindor-

Beater- Merry

Beater- Pippin

Chaser- Aragorn

Chaser- Legolas

Chaser- Eowyn

Keeper- Fili

Seeker- Kili

Announcers- Eomer

Thranduil

Gandalf


End file.
